


Marigolds and Hyacinths

by nobodys_pearl



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrinath August, Hanahaki Disease, I love having them meet on Nathanael's roof, I'm so used to writing from Nath's perspective, It's my kink, M/M, So this was interesting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 18:43:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11720262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobodys_pearl/pseuds/nobodys_pearl
Summary: Unrequited love, rooftops at night, and flower petalsThis is for Adrinath August Day 6: Rivals :D





	Marigolds and Hyacinths

**Author's Note:**

> Hanahaki Disease - a (fictional) disease, where the victim regurgitates and coughs up flower petals when they suffer from unrequited love. The illness can only be cured through surgical removal, however any existing romantic feelings are also removed with the infection.

Running, gasping, burning. Chat Noir pumped his arms, pushing himself to go further, to jump higher, to fly across the rooftops until he was touching the moon. The cold spring breeze stung his face, dried his eyes, filled his lungs. Then he stopped, sliding until he was perched at the end of a roof.

He looked in front of him, as far as he could see, taking note of how the city blurred and darkened in the distance, spoke of homes and streets that were worlds away. He took a deep breath, and then exhaled. He watched as a lone petal fell lazily to the pavement below. He felt the familiar burn in his lungs.

Then he saw him, sitting on the rooftop like he always did. Silhouetted by the soft glow of a nearby streetlamp. He too was watching the city breathe.

Chat Noir tensed his legs and jumped to the next rooftop, and then the next, until he was standing on the roof of the neighbor’s house.

“Lovely night.” Chat said, looking at the boy who sat only a rooftop away. Drinking him in. He watched as the boy turned to look at him, his ocean eyes filled with warmth. But also a sadness he couldn’t quite place.

“Yeah, it is.” He replied, his voice small as he looked at the superhero before him.

“Hey Nathanael, is something wrong? Is it –?” Chat asked, moving to sit on the roof. Only a small strip of alleyway separated them. This is what they did whenever Chat would visit. They would sit there together, and yet apart. Chat didn’t know what would happen if he ever had the courage to sit beside Nathanael.

Nathanael put on a forced smile and went back to watching the city. A couple was walking lazily down the street across from them. “Nothing’s wrong Chat. I appreciate the concern but –”

Nathanael suddenly broke into a coughing fit, and Chat could only clench his fists as he heard the awful hacking noises between shuddering breaths. He hated feeling this helpless, but there was nothing he could do.

Then flashes of red and orange caught Chat’s eye. Even in the darkness, the colors stood out, stark against the shadows. He watched as the flower petals fell to the ground in front of Nathanael to rest on the roof.

Nathanael kept coughing for another minute and then he finally took and deep breath and leaned back on his palms, refusing to look at the petals that had collected in front of him.

“They’re marigolds.” Nathanael explained, although Chat hadn’t said a word. Then he glanced at the superhero and gave him a rueful smile. “I looked up what they mean, apparently they represent jealousy. Jealousy and grief.”

Chat looked back with wide eyes, unsure of what to say. He knew that Nathanael had _It_. The disease. He got it sometime after he was akumatized, but he hadn’t really talked about it before.

Chat still remembered the first time he visited Nathanael to check up on him. He couldn’t help but feel like he should apologize for what Chloe did to him. For exposing his crush on Marinette. Chloe just didn’t think through her actions sometimes. Well, most of the time. He’d landed lightly on this roof, Nathanael sitting on his own roof much like tonight, and was about to open his mouth when he saw the petals that came fluttering out of his classmate’s mouth.

It was the first time he’d seen the disease up close. It was horrifying. And beautiful. And sad. So sad it left an ache in his chest that stuck with him for the rest of the night.

An ache he felt right now.

“I just like them so much Chat.” Nathanael continued, digging his nails into the palms of his hands. “But they don’t like me. Actually, it’s more than that. They like someone else.” Chat saw the shine in Nathanael’s eyes. He could tell that he was holding back tears. Bottling it in.

“And I can’t blame them.” Nathanael added, suddenly rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. “The person they like – they’re _perfect_. Smart, talented, kind. I completely understand why they like them.” Nathanael hugged his knees to his chest. “Just – why couldn’t they like _me_?”

Chat’s body moved on its own, and soon he was sitting next to Nathanael, close enough to see the tears streaking down his pale skin. He’d never dared to be this close before, but he couldn’t just sit there while Nathanael was in pain.

“Sometimes we like someone, and it isn’t enough.” Chat explained, reaching out his hand and then pulling away at the last second. “And it hurts. It hurts in every breath. And you want to keep reaching for it, but you don’t have the strength. You see the love in their eyes, you see the love that’s not meant for you, and it breaks you a little.” Chat looked down at his hands. “You’re forced to keep watching it all crumble in front of you, and you wonder what you did wrong.”

Nathanael took a shuddering breath and bowed his head, his long hair falling around his face.

“But,” Chat added, resting a tentative hand on his classmate’s shoulder. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Nothing about what you _feel_ is wrong. Sometimes you just get stuck in the reality where it doesn’t work out the way you wish it would. And it sucks. A lot. But it doesn’t make the love you feel any less worth it. It doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve to be loved. It doesn’t mean that you won’t find love.”

Nathanael lifted his head to look at Chat. “I hope you’re right.”

“Come on, I’m one of Paris’ greatest heroes. Of course I’m right.”

Nathanael smiled and rolled his eyes. Then he coughed once more and watched another petal get carried away by the breeze. “This is all his fault.” He said with a bitter laugh, shaking his head.

Chat’s eyes tightened and he took his hand off of Nathanael’s shoulder. “Do you think you’ll be okay?”

“Yeah, I’m better now.”

Chat looked at him for another moment, and then he lifted himself up to his feet. “Good, because I am pawsitively behind schedule. Ladybug will kill me if she finds out I keep visiting a civilian when it’s my turn to patrol.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Chat said with a wink. “It’s worth it.” With that he gave Nathanael a final salute and vaulted away, using his baton. He traveled quickly from rooftop to rooftop, until Nathanael was just a smudge in the distance. Once he was sure he was far enough away, he dropped down to the closest alley and leaned his hands against the wall, surrendering to the coughing fit that he had been trying to swallow down.

He could feel his lungs burn as he continued to cough, feeling the uncomfortable sensation of petals tickling his throat. He didn’t have to look down to know what kind of flower was blooming in his lungs – purple hyacinths.

‘This is all his fault.’ Nathanael’s words echoed in his mind. He knew. He knew that Nathanael still had feelings for Marinette. He knew that Nathanael thought that Marinette had a crush on him – on _Adrien_. He knew that Nathanael hated him for it. He knew that Nathanael’s pain was his fault.

But how could he explain that Marinette was only a friend? That soon after the Evillustrator incident they had figured out each other’s identities? That Marinette was his partner, his best friend, but nothing more? And Marinette felt the same way?

Would it even fix things? What if Marinette realized that she liked Nathanael back? What if he never told Nathanael that he – that he –

He coughed again and more petals spilled out of his mouth.

He never wanted to be Nathanael’s rival. But he didn’t know what to do. Maybe in another reality, maybe in another world, there was an Adrien out there who knew exactly what to do. An Adrien who had enough confidence to say what was in his heart. To tell Nathanael that he was hopelessly in love with him.

Maybe there was a life out there that was more than purple petals and broken hearts.

“I’m sorry.” Chat breathed, resting his forehead against the alley wall.

“Please forgive me.” He said, although he didn’t know if he was apologizing to Nathanael, or to the other Adriens out there, stretched across an infinite universe of realities.

Sometimes liking someone, just wasn’t enough.

 

 

Adrien rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he walked into class. He glanced towards the back of the room and saw Nathanael sketching in his notebook like always, his head bowed and hair falling in his face. Adrien couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to brush that hair out of Nathanael’s eyes. Then he bit his lip and sat down, ignoring the tickling sensation in his throat.

Nino walked into the room next, pushing his headphones down so that they rested on his neck. “Morning.” He said, offering Adrien a fist bump.

Adrien smiled and reached out his own fist. “Hey.”

“Moring Nath.” Nino called, and Nathanael lifted his head when he realized that Nino was talking to him. He gave him a shy wave. Then his eyes fell on Adrien. He looked like he was about to say something when Marinette and Alya came in, arm in arm.

“Look who’s not late for class today!” Alya declared, pinching Marinette’s cheeks.

Marinette smiled and rolled her eyes. “I’m not late _that_ often.”

Nino raised a questioning eyebrow and Marinette stuck out her tongue. “Adrien helped me last night with our physics homework, so I didn’t have to stay up as late.” She explained.

By ‘physics homework’ she meant that Adrien offered to handle the patrol for the night so Marinette could get some much needed rest for once. “I was happy to help.” Adrien said with a smile. Then he looked back at Nathanael, who’s gaze was determinedly back on his notebook. Adrien could see how tightly he was holding his pencil.

“Man, Adrien never helps me with my homework.”

“How romantic.” Alya cooed, wrapping her arm around her best friend. Marinette rolled her eyes once more, giving Adrien a look that said ‘can you believe this, kitty?’

Suddenly Nathanael got up from his chair and walked out of the classroom, slinging his bag on his shoulder. He refused to look at any of them.

“Is Nath okay?” Marinette asked, looking at the doorway with surprised eyes.

Adrien bent down and picked up a lone petal. He immediately recognized it. Marigold.

He quickly got out of his chair. “Sorry guys, I have to – I have to go.” Then he hurried out of the classroom. He rounded the corner, his eyes blurred and the need to get away the only thought occupying his brain. He ended up finding an empty classroom to slip into. It was still pretty early, so he had time before people started arriving to class and school started. He had time to breathe.

He sat down in the corner of the room and hugged his knees to his chest, trying to take slow, easy breaths. But his lungs were full of flowers.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Adrien said, feeling the sting of hot tears in his eyes. “I can’t do this I can’t do this I can’t _do_ this –”

He shuddered and hugged himself even tighter, like if he squeezed tight enough he could disappear. Like this would all go away.

It was bad enough to know that the person he loved would never love him back. It was bad enough to know that Nathanael hated him, saw him as nothing more than a rival. But the worst part of all of this was that he knew he was causing Nathanael pain. He knew that he was responsible for every petal that fell out of his mouth. That burned his lungs.

‘This is all his fault.’

“This is all my fault.” Adrien said. He could hear his voice break as he began to cough. Soon he was surrounded in a thin layer of purple hyacinth petals. His lungs felt raw.

“Adrien?” A quiet voice said from the doorway. Adrien was too tired to look up.

“Adrien, what are you doing here? Are you okay?” The voice pressed, walking into the room and shutting the door. Adrien lifted his tired eyes and widened them in shock when he saw Nathanael.

“I – I –” He watched as Nathanael saw the petals that lay around him.

“Adrien?”

The way Nathanael said his voice, so very gently, as if words could break – It caused something inside of Adrien to snap.

“What did I ever do to you?” Adrien asked, looking at Nathanael with an intensity he never dared to show.

“W-what?”

“I – all I ever wanted to be was your friend. But every time you look at me – it’s like – it’s like I did something wrong. It’s like you _hate_ me.” Adrien could feel the familiar sting in his eyes once more. “I tried everything I could but – but it wasn’t enough.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I don’t – Marinette doesn’t – she doesn’t like me. She’s just a close friend. I’m not your rival, I never wanted to be your rival. I never wanted to get in between you and Marinette. _I’m sorry_.”

He lifted up the marigold petal for Nathanael to see, and he watched his classmate’s eyes widen. “This is all my fault. And I’m so sorry I did this to you.”

Nathanael stared at him in shock for a moment. After a few moments he finally opened his mouth. “You – you don’t like Marinette?”

Adrien sighed and attempted to smile. “Not romantically.”

Nathanael moved closer to him and stopped a few feet away. “Then why –” He began, gesturing at the petals that lay around Adrien.

Adrien felt a sudden wave of exhaustion hit him. “It doesn’t matter. I talked to my father, and we agreed that I’m getting the surgery. He wanted this for me for a while actually.”

Adrien remembered the many instances where he would have to take a break from a photo shoot to cough out all the petals. Or how he could choke on hyacinths during his Chinese lessons. Or how his fencing instructor almost slipped on one of his petals, that day when Adrien couldn’t get those ocean eyes out of his head.

But soon he wouldn’t have to worry about all of that.

“After the surgery, it won’t be a problem anymore, so don’t worry about it.” Adrien said, trying to give Nathanael a genuine smile. Yet it couldn’t help but feel strained.

“So you won’t have those feelings anymore? You won’t be in love?” Nathanael asked, shifting on the balls of his feet.

“Yeah.” Adrien sighed. For so long he held onto the hope that maybe, maybe one day Nathanael could return his feelings. But that simply wasn’t how this worked.

He was going to miss the butterflies, the way his heart warmed when he saw Nathanael’s smile, how he felt like a piece of the sky was in his chest when Nathanael laughed – all weightlessness and soaring. He was going to miss the magic in his eyes.

He was going to miss loving the boy in front of him. And he couldn’t understand how he could miss something that was full of thorns.

“Who are those petals for, Adrien?” Nathanael asked, willing Adrien to look at him.

“It doesn’t matter.” Adrien repeated, pushing back the burn in his throat.

Then Nathanael kneeled in front of him and placed a gentle hand on his cheek. “Please. I need to know. Who are those petals for?”

And it was something in Nathanael’s eyes. The desperation, the vulnerability, and what looked like a spark of hope, that caused Adrien to answer.

“You.” Adrien breathed, finding it impossible to look away.

Nathanael looked back with wide eyes. “Adrien, my petals aren’t for Marinette.”

“Wh-what?”

Nathanael gave him a shy smile and leaned in, rubbing his thumb across Adrien’s cheekbone.

_Oh._

“Can I –” Nathanael began, moving closer to Adrien’s face.

Adrien nodded, looking down at Nathanael’s lips. “Please.” He breathed.

Nathanael pressed his lips softly against his own, and Adrien felt that familiar soaring feeling in his chest as he responded to Nathanael’s touch.

He tasted like flower petals and sadness. But also of hope. Of new beginnings.

“Please promise me you won’t get that surgery.” Nathanael breathed, his mouth only an inch away from Adrien’s.

“I promise.”

Adrien could feel something shift inside of him, and after a moment he realized. The tickle in his throat, the burn in his lungs. It was gone.

He ran his hands through Nathanael’s hair and began to kiss back with a desperation he had been trying to ignore for so long, and couldn’t help but smile when Nathanael sighed against his mouth.

A few moments later Adrien pulled away. “So, we aren’t rivals?”

Nathanael laughed. “Adrien, I always admired Marinette, but after I was akumatized, I realized that I had been in love for a while, that I was in love with the blond haired boy in the front of the class who stood up and yelled that he was present on his first day.” He answered, a smirk tugging at his lips.

“So that’s a yes?”

Nathanael smiled and gave Adrien a chaste kiss on the forehead. “You could never be my rival, Adrien.”

Adrien smiled and leaned into his touch. “Good.”

In all the different worlds – in all the different realities – he never thought – he never thought he’d be the Adrien who actually got it right.

**Author's Note:**

> I was looking at some art for Hanahaki Disease (it was klance *cough* season 3 man it messed me up) and I really wanted to write something for it. I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
